Hope you all have a good 2010 and more will follow - honest.
\m/
Thursday 31 December 2009
Thursday 13 August 2009
I came across this on a Favourite quote thread on UKPagan and loved it. It's be Niel Gaiman and taken from American Gods:
"I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen–I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones who look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline of good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of The Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies too. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."
Brilliant and apparently you can get it on a t-shirt.
"I can believe things that are true and I can believe things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not. I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and Marilyn Monroe and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen–I believe that people are perfectible, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones who look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women. I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline of good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of The Worlds. I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman. I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself. I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck. I believe that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too. I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies too. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system. I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it."
Brilliant and apparently you can get it on a t-shirt.
\m/
Tuesday 4 August 2009
Carl Rothwell
You may have noticed a new blog in the list of blogs that I'm following.
This is for the artist Carl Rothwell, who I have become aware of thanks to geeks.co.uk.
I really like his style, very fluid and sharp. Check it out.
This is for the artist Carl Rothwell, who I have become aware of thanks to geeks.co.uk.
I really like his style, very fluid and sharp. Check it out.
\m/
Wednesday 29 July 2009
Book of death dates......
This article here Would You look in the Book of Death Dates made me think, would I?
Would I want to know how many more sleeps there was until the end?
Would knowing free me or enslave me?
Think about it. Do you want a deadline for all those things that you might do?
We've all got things that we'll do "one day", be it learn a language, finish the DIY, write a novel or whatever it is that fills your idle dreams, would knowing the date of the end motivate you or make you feel that there wasn't enough time to do it in?
I suppose it depends on what you find out when you look and the kind of person you were.
So would I want to know?
I don't think I do want to know.
But would I be able resist looking? That's a different matter entirely.
Would I want to know how many more sleeps there was until the end?
Would knowing free me or enslave me?
Think about it. Do you want a deadline for all those things that you might do?
We've all got things that we'll do "one day", be it learn a language, finish the DIY, write a novel or whatever it is that fills your idle dreams, would knowing the date of the end motivate you or make you feel that there wasn't enough time to do it in?
I suppose it depends on what you find out when you look and the kind of person you were.
So would I want to know?
I don't think I do want to know.
But would I be able resist looking? That's a different matter entirely.
\m/
Monday 27 July 2009
Tamiflu - what they aren't making clear enough
I know that most of the people who read my blog will know this but I'd thought I'd share this for the wider web community following a conversation with my doctor this morning (I have a nasty virus NOT swineflu just so you know and I never thought I had swineflu either).
Basically it is very easy to get a reference code for a dose of tamiflu (just ticking the right boxes on the online survey will get you one), but it only works on Swineflu (H1N1) if you have it when you take the Tamiflu - if you take it now and get Swineflu (H1N1) later on then you're not going to get any more Tamiflu (because you've had your allotted dose) and you'll be screwed because even if they give you Tamiflu then it won't work because you've had it once.
This is something that I don't think they are making clear enough to people at this moment in time.
Right then, I'm off back to my sick bed to listen to Slayer until I feel better.
Basically it is very easy to get a reference code for a dose of tamiflu (just ticking the right boxes on the online survey will get you one), but it only works on Swineflu (H1N1) if you have it when you take the Tamiflu - if you take it now and get Swineflu (H1N1) later on then you're not going to get any more Tamiflu (because you've had your allotted dose) and you'll be screwed because even if they give you Tamiflu then it won't work because you've had it once.
This is something that I don't think they are making clear enough to people at this moment in time.
Right then, I'm off back to my sick bed to listen to Slayer until I feel better.
\m/
Tuesday 21 July 2009
Random thoughts of a sleepy techie
I finished nights 36hours ago and I'm still knackered...the things we do for those we love, eh?
So seeing a lack of sleep always does 'wonderful' things to my mind I thought I'd share some of my musings from the last 9 days with you.
i) is Einstein's theory of relativity the reason why 6 hours in bed only feels like 3?
ii) what do the bees know that we don't?
iii) why don't the met office employ cattle? After all they seem to have a better handle on the weather than us humans do.
iv) why do the self activating lights at work take longer to come on for some staff than for others?
v) am I the only bloke I know who thinks Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure & Bogus Journey are film classics?
vi) if the Greeks and the Egyptians had managed to master the idea of the steam railway then no-one would ever have heard of Nazareth's most famous son.
vii) Why doesn't Catholocism market the vampritic elements of it's religion to goth's - it might stop congregations shrinking.
vii)Having grown up in the late 70's/early 80's, being fed food full of additives and preservatives is it unreasonable to claim that not having them in food today is causing me to have withdrawls?
That'll do for now, I think, after all if there is anyone out there still reading this blog after they may want something a little saner after this.
So seeing a lack of sleep always does 'wonderful' things to my mind I thought I'd share some of my musings from the last 9 days with you.
i) is Einstein's theory of relativity the reason why 6 hours in bed only feels like 3?
ii) what do the bees know that we don't?
iii) why don't the met office employ cattle? After all they seem to have a better handle on the weather than us humans do.
iv) why do the self activating lights at work take longer to come on for some staff than for others?
v) am I the only bloke I know who thinks Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure & Bogus Journey are film classics?
vi) if the Greeks and the Egyptians had managed to master the idea of the steam railway then no-one would ever have heard of Nazareth's most famous son.
vii) Why doesn't Catholocism market the vampritic elements of it's religion to goth's - it might stop congregations shrinking.
vii)Having grown up in the late 70's/early 80's, being fed food full of additives and preservatives is it unreasonable to claim that not having them in food today is causing me to have withdrawls?
That'll do for now, I think, after all if there is anyone out there still reading this blog after they may want something a little saner after this.
\m/
Monday 6 July 2009
Disclaimer?
So they have finally made 800 pages of the oldest surviving bible available on line (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/in_depth/8135415.stm).
Wouldn't it be ironic if one of the pages contained the disclaimer: " All characters in this book are purely fictional. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead,is purely accidental".
Wouldn't it be ironic if one of the pages contained the disclaimer: " All characters in this book are purely fictional. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead,is purely accidental".
\m/
Monday 29 June 2009
How do you judge your life?
Here's an interesting question that occured to me the other day. Do you judge your life by the number of those you can hurt or the number of those you can help?
And who is the better person one who measures by the former or the one that measures by the latter?
From my point of view, the latter is always the better. After all, you may be able to hurt plenty of people but if your actions benefit only yourself then your life will be a lonely one. Alternatively if your actions, hurtful or otherwise, benefit more than just yourself then you will almost assuredly have a rich life of social interaction.
I think what I'm trying to say is that surely, where possible, it is better to help rather than to hurt (of course there are situations whereby you may have to hurt one to help many). This principle is one that we should encourage in our future generations, as it may be the only thing that saves the human race from a fight to the death that results in our extinction.
And who is the better person one who measures by the former or the one that measures by the latter?
From my point of view, the latter is always the better. After all, you may be able to hurt plenty of people but if your actions benefit only yourself then your life will be a lonely one. Alternatively if your actions, hurtful or otherwise, benefit more than just yourself then you will almost assuredly have a rich life of social interaction.
I think what I'm trying to say is that surely, where possible, it is better to help rather than to hurt (of course there are situations whereby you may have to hurt one to help many). This principle is one that we should encourage in our future generations, as it may be the only thing that saves the human race from a fight to the death that results in our extinction.
\m/
Saturday 13 June 2009
A Recital Of An Unitdy Mind - Part 2
Just a quick one to say how fantastic Helen was at this mornings recital!
I know that I'm a little biased, what with Helen being a lifelong friend of my other half, but she does have a fantastic mezzo-soprano voice and really deserves to have it heard by as many people as possible.
She sang some beautiful peices this morning and exceled herself once more.
If you ever see an operatic society peformance featuring the name Helen Anne Gregory then check it out. :0)
I know that I'm a little biased, what with Helen being a lifelong friend of my other half, but she does have a fantastic mezzo-soprano voice and really deserves to have it heard by as many people as possible.
She sang some beautiful peices this morning and exceled herself once more.
If you ever see an operatic society peformance featuring the name Helen Anne Gregory then check it out. :0)
Friday 12 June 2009
A Recital of an Untidy Mind
So it's been a while since my last post (I seem to type that alot - lol) and I thought I'd drop a post in , but I'm not sure what to blog about.
Then I remembered that this Saturday (tomorrow for all those who struggle with what day of the week it is) Helen from Diary Of An Untidy Mind is performing a recital at St John the Evangelist, Hall Cliffe, Baildon, BD17 6ND. It start's at 10:30am and finishes around 11:30am.
Helen has an amazing voice and if you can get there to hear her then you won't be disappointed.
Then I remembered that this Saturday (tomorrow for all those who struggle with what day of the week it is) Helen from Diary Of An Untidy Mind is performing a recital at St John the Evangelist, Hall Cliffe, Baildon, BD17 6ND. It start's at 10:30am and finishes around 11:30am.
Helen has an amazing voice and if you can get there to hear her then you won't be disappointed.
\m/
Monday 18 May 2009
Auditory Processing Disorder - Dyslexia for the ears.
I have recently been diagnosed as having Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) and thought that seeing as it is a lesser known disability that I'd post about it.
Basically someone with Auditory Processing Disorder has no actual problem with their ears, they can have A1 hearing, but the problem is that their brain doesn't process the sound received by the ears. This is particularly the case with the sound of the voice.
In hindsight I can see that I have this all my life. It explains why I often hear someone talking but don't react to what they say, it explains why in loud enviroments I cannot hear what people say to me (lipreading is a skill I value massively), and it explains why I find it hard to follow long strings of verbal instructions.
If you would like more information on this APDUK.ORG are an excellent source of information.
Basically someone with Auditory Processing Disorder has no actual problem with their ears, they can have A1 hearing, but the problem is that their brain doesn't process the sound received by the ears. This is particularly the case with the sound of the voice.
In hindsight I can see that I have this all my life. It explains why I often hear someone talking but don't react to what they say, it explains why in loud enviroments I cannot hear what people say to me (lipreading is a skill I value massively), and it explains why I find it hard to follow long strings of verbal instructions.
If you would like more information on this APDUK.ORG are an excellent source of information.
\m/
Tuesday 5 May 2009
Why I hate generalisation......
This..http://www.tdbimg.com/files/2009/04/30/-hsra-domestic-extremism-lexicon_165213935473.pdf
is the reason I hate generalisation.
I consider myself a Heathen, I share many of the same beliefs and Gods of the Norse/Astratu groups but I am NOT a racist, facist or a terrorist.
I know that governments are concerned with the safety of their populaces but the way that this document is worded leaves very little room for a peaceful law abiding Heathen to exist outside of the stereotype it creates.
I work with a devout Muslim, who dresses very 'traditionally' and takes his faith very seriously. The other day he was telling me how much he hates the extremists in his religion that have lead people to view those that dress like he does as terrorists.
At times like this, I know how he feels.
is the reason I hate generalisation.
I consider myself a Heathen, I share many of the same beliefs and Gods of the Norse/Astratu groups but I am NOT a racist, facist or a terrorist.
I know that governments are concerned with the safety of their populaces but the way that this document is worded leaves very little room for a peaceful law abiding Heathen to exist outside of the stereotype it creates.
I work with a devout Muslim, who dresses very 'traditionally' and takes his faith very seriously. The other day he was telling me how much he hates the extremists in his religion that have lead people to view those that dress like he does as terrorists.
At times like this, I know how he feels.
\m/
Sunday 12 April 2009
Observations and events.
Firstly I hope you all had a happy Easter/Zombie Jesus day (delete as appropriate).
Have you ever noticed that it only takes one thing to make a day noteworthy.
Without going into too many details, today went from being another Easter Sunday to being one that will remain in the memory of my family for a long time to come (for the right reasons lol).
I suppose what I am trying to say is that you never know what's coming next. You might think you know and there is high probability that some of the time you will be right. After all the human brain is capable of remembering the outcome of similar situations and formulating reasonably accurate predictions (although sometimes, looking around you, you really do wonder if everyone actually possesses this attribute). But NOBODY can tell the future. Wether it be 10 minute away of 10,000 years away nobody can do it. Anyone who thinks they do is deluded. Granted the nearer the event that you are prediciting the outcome of the easier it is to be right (for instance knowing that a rugby team that is 66-6 down with 2 minutes to go will lose is obvious) but it does not mean that you are gifted with some special insight into the future of the universe.
That is what makes life so special. You never know what is coming next. At times this makes things quite unnerving and yet at other times it makes things alot more bareable. That is why every moment and event should be appreciated. When things are good enjoy them being good because you know that it may not last long, alternatively when things are bad stick it out because you know that it will not always be that bad.
Anyway enough of that.
One last thing to mention before I finish. I would like to say a massive THANK YOU to the cast and crew of Red Dwarf: Back To Earth. It was very well done and some of the best TV I've watched in a long time. Cheers!
Have you ever noticed that it only takes one thing to make a day noteworthy.
Without going into too many details, today went from being another Easter Sunday to being one that will remain in the memory of my family for a long time to come (for the right reasons lol).
I suppose what I am trying to say is that you never know what's coming next. You might think you know and there is high probability that some of the time you will be right. After all the human brain is capable of remembering the outcome of similar situations and formulating reasonably accurate predictions (although sometimes, looking around you, you really do wonder if everyone actually possesses this attribute). But NOBODY can tell the future. Wether it be 10 minute away of 10,000 years away nobody can do it. Anyone who thinks they do is deluded. Granted the nearer the event that you are prediciting the outcome of the easier it is to be right (for instance knowing that a rugby team that is 66-6 down with 2 minutes to go will lose is obvious) but it does not mean that you are gifted with some special insight into the future of the universe.
That is what makes life so special. You never know what is coming next. At times this makes things quite unnerving and yet at other times it makes things alot more bareable. That is why every moment and event should be appreciated. When things are good enjoy them being good because you know that it may not last long, alternatively when things are bad stick it out because you know that it will not always be that bad.
Anyway enough of that.
One last thing to mention before I finish. I would like to say a massive THANK YOU to the cast and crew of Red Dwarf: Back To Earth. It was very well done and some of the best TV I've watched in a long time. Cheers!
\m/
Monday 9 March 2009
Something that you don't see very often..
I have long had an affinity for the Methodist Church, and I noticed this last month and meant to blog about it then but with one thing and another didn't get chance.
Some of you may have heard about Westboro Baptist Church (Kansas, USA)'s plan to picket a performance of the Laramie Project in Basingstoke (UK).
Now Westboro Baptist Church, to me, represent not only the worst element of organised religion but also the worse elements of humanity.
It was nice to see the Methodist Church of Great Britain along with Baptist Union of Great Britain, Evangelical AllianceUK, Faithworks, Theos: the public theology think tank and the United Reform Church all publicly speaking out in a joint statement against they group and their planned protest.
It is good to see that organizations that promote a religion that is based on Love and fellowship standing up and demonstrating it. A lot of noise is made by fundamentalist Christians about the wrongs of being homosexual and quite frankly that goes against the teachings of Christ.
When Jesus said '...Love thy neighbour...' he did not say 'love they heterosexual neighbour', nor did he add any other qualifier to the statement. Why? Because he meant just what he said, that regardless of who that neighbour is, what they do, what colour they are, who they sleep with, where they come from or any other difference you should love that person.
If the Christian faith spent less time in the public eye (are you listening Pope Benedict?) telling people what not to do and more time showing solidarity, fellowship, support, understanding and love towards the populace of the world then perhaps they would have more success and the public perception of them would alter for the better.
Some of you may have heard about Westboro Baptist Church (Kansas, USA)'s plan to picket a performance of the Laramie Project in Basingstoke (UK).
Now Westboro Baptist Church, to me, represent not only the worst element of organised religion but also the worse elements of humanity.
It was nice to see the Methodist Church of Great Britain along with Baptist Union of Great Britain, Evangelical AllianceUK, Faithworks, Theos: the public theology think tank and the United Reform Church all publicly speaking out in a joint statement against they group and their planned protest.
It is good to see that organizations that promote a religion that is based on Love and fellowship standing up and demonstrating it. A lot of noise is made by fundamentalist Christians about the wrongs of being homosexual and quite frankly that goes against the teachings of Christ.
When Jesus said '...Love thy neighbour...' he did not say 'love they heterosexual neighbour', nor did he add any other qualifier to the statement. Why? Because he meant just what he said, that regardless of who that neighbour is, what they do, what colour they are, who they sleep with, where they come from or any other difference you should love that person.
If the Christian faith spent less time in the public eye (are you listening Pope Benedict?) telling people what not to do and more time showing solidarity, fellowship, support, understanding and love towards the populace of the world then perhaps they would have more success and the public perception of them would alter for the better.
\m/
Friday 6 March 2009
Time For Change
Did you know that 1 in 5 people have Dandruft?
Did you also know that 1 in 4 people have, or have had, mental health problems?
Recently the Time For Change campaign was started to help bring an end to mental health discrimination.
A better of understanding of mental health conditions amongst society would improve the life experiences of people suffering from them. One of the main problems faced by sufferers of mental health conditions is the feeling that they will face stigmatism or ridicule from other people, I know for a fact that is was a problem for me for a long time.
Please take a moment or two to have a look at the Time For Change website, it contains things that may well make you rethink your ideas about Mental Health conditions.
Did you also know that 1 in 4 people have, or have had, mental health problems?
Recently the Time For Change campaign was started to help bring an end to mental health discrimination.
A better of understanding of mental health conditions amongst society would improve the life experiences of people suffering from them. One of the main problems faced by sufferers of mental health conditions is the feeling that they will face stigmatism or ridicule from other people, I know for a fact that is was a problem for me for a long time.
Please take a moment or two to have a look at the Time For Change website, it contains things that may well make you rethink your ideas about Mental Health conditions.
Tuesday 17 February 2009
Music to get excited about.....
On the 24-09-02 Lamb of God release "Wrath", their new album. Having heard the track "Contractor" on the recent cover disk from Metal Hammer, I can honestly say that I can't wait to get my hands on it.
If it is anywhere near as good as Sacrement was then it'll be another album that won't be leaving my player for a long time.
Something else to look forward to this year is the release of "Pray For Villains", the new album by Devildriver. I'm a commited Devildriver fan, having seen them live on two occasions now, and their albums keep improving with every release so I can't wait for this. It should be out this summer on Roadrunner.
I love music and it's ability to change a moment, enhance a moment and speak the emotions of the soul mean it is more special to me than most things. Heavy Metal has always, and will always, have a special place in my soul.
If it is anywhere near as good as Sacrement was then it'll be another album that won't be leaving my player for a long time.
Something else to look forward to this year is the release of "Pray For Villains", the new album by Devildriver. I'm a commited Devildriver fan, having seen them live on two occasions now, and their albums keep improving with every release so I can't wait for this. It should be out this summer on Roadrunner.
I love music and it's ability to change a moment, enhance a moment and speak the emotions of the soul mean it is more special to me than most things. Heavy Metal has always, and will always, have a special place in my soul.
\m/
Friday 13 February 2009
Belief-o-matic!
I was having a little browse of the web today and found this :
Belief-o-matic at Beliefnet.com
Now how seriously you take the results of doing this is up to you but it made me smile (the disclaimer at the start is worthy of a read if nothing else) and got it pretty spot on.
So you're probably thinking why was I looking at Beliefnet? Well I have long had an interest in the roots of faith and religion, though I have to be careful with how far I get into it because I suffer from the OCD subcondition called Scrupoulosity. And having been laid up recovering from an operation I have plenty of thinking time, and I've managed to make it healthy thinking time as well (which those with OCD will be able to relate to). So there was me mooching around various sites and I chanced upon Beliefnet. Seems a cool site may be worth a look, if you're interested in that sort of thing.
Rok on
\m/
Belief-o-matic at Beliefnet.com
Now how seriously you take the results of doing this is up to you but it made me smile (the disclaimer at the start is worthy of a read if nothing else) and got it pretty spot on.
So you're probably thinking why was I looking at Beliefnet? Well I have long had an interest in the roots of faith and religion, though I have to be careful with how far I get into it because I suffer from the OCD subcondition called Scrupoulosity. And having been laid up recovering from an operation I have plenty of thinking time, and I've managed to make it healthy thinking time as well (which those with OCD will be able to relate to). So there was me mooching around various sites and I chanced upon Beliefnet. Seems a cool site may be worth a look, if you're interested in that sort of thing.
Rok on
\m/
Sunday 25 January 2009
The ongoing quest.....
the quest to find the slipknot phone call is not going well, but I will not be beaten.....it's got to be out there somewhere..........
Monday 19 January 2009
Mark&Lard's phone call to Slipknot - the search continues
I have embarked on a quest. One that is fraught with frustration and probably doomed to failure but, hey ho, here we go.........
Back at the turn of the century, when Mark and Lard did afternoons on Radio 1 they made a spoof call to Slipknot. The resulting comedy included the imortal line "Oh Clown" in the campest accent ever and was so funny it nearly caused me and the guy I was working with that day, Paul, to crash the van!
My quest is a simple one. To find a clip of that sketch so we can relive our near death experience on the roads around Sowerby Bridge!
Can you help?
So far my googling has produced nothing of merit......
Back at the turn of the century, when Mark and Lard did afternoons on Radio 1 they made a spoof call to Slipknot. The resulting comedy included the imortal line "Oh Clown" in the campest accent ever and was so funny it nearly caused me and the guy I was working with that day, Paul, to crash the van!
My quest is a simple one. To find a clip of that sketch so we can relive our near death experience on the roads around Sowerby Bridge!
Can you help?
So far my googling has produced nothing of merit......
The search goes on.......
Tuesday 6 January 2009
Secret Girl Lessons
As a male of the species have you ever found yourself wondering where girls get the seemingly endless wealth of skills and knowledge that only they seem to know that enables them to gain the upper hand is 90% of situations?
Needless to say, I have. And recently a friend of mine suggested that this could be down to "Special Girl Lessons" given to girls as they approach maturity. Now this got me thinking, when would these lessons have been held without our (the lads) knowledge?
Having given this much thought I think I may have struck upon the answer.
It must have been at a time when we (the boys) were distracted by something important (sports or blowing things up) so that we wouldn't notice them (the girls) getting something we weren't. Also it would have had to be disguised as a practice that was so dull to the male mind that any boy who did happen to notice would have no interest in wandering over and joining in.
What, I hear you ask, could this be?
Sounds ridiculous?
Well just stop and think about it.
In Netball you have a sport that involves a lot of standing around (plenty of time for passing on knowledge) and is fundamentally none contact (and therefore completely goes against the full contact, destructive nature of adolescent boys).
So whilst we were all kicking each other in games lessons, the girls were on the netball courts pretending to play netball whilst the Special Girl Instructor (disguised as a PE Teacher) was passing on the secrets to being an effective female in adult life!
That's why they always seem to have the advantage!
Of course if you were to enquire with one of the fairer sex about this they will deny it completely, after all they wouldn't want the secret to get out and have future generations miss out on having the upper hand, but this wall of silence and denial could be taken as proof.
Needless to say, I have. And recently a friend of mine suggested that this could be down to "Special Girl Lessons" given to girls as they approach maturity. Now this got me thinking, when would these lessons have been held without our (the lads) knowledge?
Having given this much thought I think I may have struck upon the answer.
It must have been at a time when we (the boys) were distracted by something important (sports or blowing things up) so that we wouldn't notice them (the girls) getting something we weren't. Also it would have had to be disguised as a practice that was so dull to the male mind that any boy who did happen to notice would have no interest in wandering over and joining in.
What, I hear you ask, could this be?
NETBALL!
Sounds ridiculous?
Well just stop and think about it.
In Netball you have a sport that involves a lot of standing around (plenty of time for passing on knowledge) and is fundamentally none contact (and therefore completely goes against the full contact, destructive nature of adolescent boys).
So whilst we were all kicking each other in games lessons, the girls were on the netball courts pretending to play netball whilst the Special Girl Instructor (disguised as a PE Teacher) was passing on the secrets to being an effective female in adult life!
That's why they always seem to have the advantage!
Of course if you were to enquire with one of the fairer sex about this they will deny it completely, after all they wouldn't want the secret to get out and have future generations miss out on having the upper hand, but this wall of silence and denial could be taken as proof.
'nuff said.
\m/
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