Sunday, 11 December 2011

Depression: the lurker in the shadows.

I write this whilst off sick from work (thanks to a respritory infection exploiting the damage done years ago by pluerisy) and emerging from a very dark place.

I find that, at times like this, this is when depression steps forward from the shadows where it lurks and gets you at your weakest.
And boy has it had me.
By the start of this weekend my self esteem had evaporated, my outlook on the world was beyond grim, positivity could not be found and I felt a total failure.
That's right, a failure. How ridiculous, in hindsight, is it to feel a failure for something you have absolutely no control over!
But that is how I felt.
I'm lucky though.
I have a wonderful wife, great sons, a supportive family, fab friends, a supportive employer and the tools that the NHS have given me to help get through it.
Make no mistake, without my wife I'd still be in a very, very dark place.
I'm eternally thankful for her love and support and it makes me feel for those without their own pillar of support and love.
So how about now?
Well I'm still unwell, but on the mend, and I'm still in a grim place, but I'm heading out towards the light once more.

There is always hope, the dawn always follows even the darkest of nights and things do get better. :)