Sunday, 25 January 2009

The ongoing quest.....

the quest to find the slipknot phone call is not going well, but I will not be's got to be out there somewhere..........

Monday, 19 January 2009

Mark&Lard's phone call to Slipknot - the search continues

I have embarked on a quest. One that is fraught with frustration and probably doomed to failure but, hey ho, here we go.........

Back at the turn of the century, when Mark and Lard did afternoons on Radio 1 they made a spoof call to Slipknot. The resulting comedy included the imortal line "Oh Clown" in the campest accent ever and was so funny it nearly caused me and the guy I was working with that day, Paul, to crash the van!

My quest is a simple one. To find a clip of that sketch so we can relive our near death experience on the roads around Sowerby Bridge!

Can you help?
So far my googling has produced nothing of merit......

The search goes on.......

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

Secret Girl Lessons

As a male of the species have you ever found yourself wondering where girls get the seemingly endless wealth of skills and knowledge that only they seem to know that enables them to gain the upper hand is 90% of situations?

Needless to say, I have. And recently a friend of mine suggested that this could be down to "Special Girl Lessons" given to girls as they approach maturity. Now this got me thinking, when would these lessons have been held without our (the lads) knowledge?

Having given this much thought I think I may have struck upon the answer.
It must have been at a time when we (the boys) were distracted by something important (sports or blowing things up) so that we wouldn't notice them (the girls) getting something we weren't. Also it would have had to be disguised as a practice that was so dull to the male mind that any boy who did happen to notice would have no interest in wandering over and joining in.
What, I hear you ask, could this be?


Sounds ridiculous?
Well just stop and think about it.
In Netball you have a sport that involves a lot of standing around (plenty of time for passing on knowledge) and is fundamentally none contact (and therefore completely goes against the full contact, destructive nature of adolescent boys).
So whilst we were all kicking each other in games lessons, the girls were on the netball courts pretending to play netball whilst the Special Girl Instructor (disguised as a PE Teacher) was passing on the secrets to being an effective female in adult life!
That's why they always seem to have the advantage!

Of course if you were to enquire with one of the fairer sex about this they will deny it completely, after all they wouldn't want the secret to get out and have future generations miss out on having the upper hand, but this wall of silence and denial could be taken as proof.

'nuff said.