Tuesday, 7 December 2010

The rub of things - part 2

When I posted last night I never intended there to be a part 2.
I was sure.
I felt I had to do it.
I felt I had to do it to stop my anxiety.

I was wrong.
I was the anxiety that drove that post, not my true intent.
My anxiety was driven by my OCD.

It's happened before, and it may happen again.
The difference?
That now when it happens I can, within 23-48hrs, spot that it has happened and correct my mistakes.
I can tell, in retrospect, what it my OCD and what is my anxiety driven reactionism, where I've lurched from one extreme to another.
One day I WILL be able to to spot it as it happens and prevent nights like last night's events ever happening in the first place.

Until that day all I can do is ask for your understanding, dear reader.

Despite what I wrote last night I will not be turning my back on writing about what I care about and what I believe.

The thought occurred to me today - why would I stop doing something that I enjoy?

So please bear with me whilst I resume "normal" service.


1 comment:

Lily Oak said...

Glad to hear it... and glad you left the last post up too! I've gone on some tremedous internet rambling sessions, written blog posts, tweets and facebook status updates whilst my brains gone off on one with that little voice of sanity still valiently trying to call it back. They always good to read back just to remind you that you've had days like that before, you'll probably have them again, but they always work out one way or another.