Showing posts with label lapse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lapse. Show all posts

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

The rub of things - part 2

When I posted last night I never intended there to be a part 2.
I was sure.
I felt I had to do it.
I felt I had to do it to stop my anxiety.

I was wrong.
I was the anxiety that drove that post, not my true intent.
My anxiety was driven by my OCD.

It's happened before, and it may happen again.
The difference?
That now when it happens I can, within 23-48hrs, spot that it has happened and correct my mistakes.
I can tell, in retrospect, what it my OCD and what is my anxiety driven reactionism, where I've lurched from one extreme to another.
One day I WILL be able to to spot it as it happens and prevent nights like last night's events ever happening in the first place.

Until that day all I can do is ask for your understanding, dear reader.

Despite what I wrote last night I will not be turning my back on writing about what I care about and what I believe.

The thought occurred to me today - why would I stop doing something that I enjoy?

So please bear with me whilst I resume "normal" service.

\m/