In the middle....

Somewhere in the middle of the space between Liberal Methodist Christianity and Heathenism stands I.
A foot in each camp, seeing the wisdom in both and appreciating their benefit and similarities.
And unable to choose between the two.

I have always been fascinated by why pagans converted to Christianity. Whilst there is no denying that use of force in the conversion process did occur, I have never felt that it was the full story. After all, if you try and force something on people who are reluctant to accept it then they will always find a way to undermine it, and history has plenty of examples of when such things have happened.

The thing I have never liked about any of the monotheistic religions is this shared notion that only those worshipping their God will be looked after. This, to me, goes against the principles of a all loving god.
Additionally there is the holy texts. Mankind has a habit of changing things to suit itself. Knowing this and acknowledging the existence of free will, I do not see how texts written by man, and then translated repeatedly over the years in different political and social climates, can be treated as something to follow literally and blindly.
Common sense and a forgiving view of things is much more the order of the day in my humble opinion.
After all, is it not said somewhere in the good book "best not judge, lest thee be judged yourself"?
That says to me that any human being who judges harshly another, whether they are basing that judgement on a holy text or a personal opinion, is in danger of receiving the same from the divine force of the universe at the point when they will be hoping for the most forgiving of judgements.

Ironically, Christianity - the religion of love and forgiveness - comes across harsher than the religion of the "barbaric" Northmen.

And here I am, in the middle, doing my best to figure it all out for myself......

I was dreaming.....

I was dreaming when I first saw the dragon, soaring above a land very much like this.
When I was dreaming I walked amongst those of open mind and loving soul,
In a realm where judgement was left to the God and retribution sought only on the evil and vicious.
Where ideas were valued, where good was done without thought of cost and profit came second to need.
The battles were fought in honest view, not hidden behind lies and deceit.
Where the elected served those who voted not those whose money they craved or their own egotistical bent.
And above this land the dragon and it's kin soared, swept and danced,
with a grace that inspired awe and dread in equal measure.....

And then I awoke.

The dragons were replaced with the clouds, and so much else replaced with it's opposite.
And though my heart is heavy at this sight, the dragon still flies within my soul.

Just my luck.......

So just when I'm feeling on top of things and in a very positive frame of mind this happens.

It's as if the Divine presence in this universe likes to knock me down and keep me there.

I know that sounds very self indulgent and full of self pity but there are limits to my positivity when an act aimed at improving my lot leads me to being in a knee brace and off my feet for 10 days. This means my poorly wife who I should be looking after is now having to look after me and not being able to drive (or walk for that matter) is causing all sorts of inconvenience for those that rely on me.

Next time you think of heeding the media's advice to get up and get involved in sport....think very hard about if it's worth it!

I am currently learning a lesson.
That I am physically older than I feel and I can no longer just decide to do something like playing football on a whim.
I curse my own stupidity in not realising this sooner :(

My thoughts on Divinity....

Here are my feelings about the Divine presence in the universe,call it God, call it Gods, call it Allah, Buddha or any of the other names given to it by mankind, after all they are all right.

I'll use the maleidentifier of He and Him but feel free to alter it to the female or the plural if it feels more comfortable.

He does not care what you wear.
He does not care what you call them.
He does not care how you worship him or where.
He does not care where you find himm or how you know him.
He is not bothered by your "lack" of faith.

He will show you compassion when you die and, unless you are fundamentally evil (we're talking Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot, etc) then you will be re-united with your loved ones and ancestors on the other side.

This is why I read runes, occasionally go to church and sing hymns and do plenty of other things that organised religion labels as contradictory.

I believe that it is enough to simply Believe, even if you can't fully express what it is you believe in.
This is how we were made, wonderfully random and different.

There is magic flowing through the Universe you and I inhabit, it flows through us all and binds every one of us together.

So believe what feels right, the way that feels right. Be Kind, be true and, most of all, be happy!

Runes to my memory

I was wondering the other day how best it is to learn the your Runes.

Now I began learning my runes many years ago now, and it's process that is still ongoing ( and hopefully always will be ). When I started in my teens there was no web (no, I'm not THAT old but just old enough to remember a world pre-web and pre-mobile) and finding a reliable source of information was difficult to say the least (although I'm not sure that it's any easier in these wired days - beware what your search results give you).
The limited number of books that were found in my local library offered a small amount of books that both supported and contradicted each other.
This turned out to be quite beneficial as it meant that I learned early on that the feeling you get from the runes as more important than what is necessarily written down by others.

So how best to learn?
On one hand the best method for learning the runes would depend on your own predisposition to learning so I would encourage you to embrace that aspect however it presents itself to you.
On the other hand you'll know early on if the Runes are for you from how they feel to you.
For me it's always been the Elder Futhark runes that I have worked with (in many ways they chose me but that's another story) but I encourage you to not shy away from trying a number of different runes to find the ones you work best with.

As well as hitting the reading material you should spend as much time as possible with your rune, handle them often and generally have them around you. This will help you build a strong connection with them.

The thing that I think rings truest though is not to rush it. If you give it time and keep practicing then if it's meant to happen it will.

And if it doesn't then don't be hard on yourself, not everyone can read the runes. Your destiny may be something completely different but just as important. :)

Blessed be and Rock on!
\m/

A return ( of sorts) to Pagan ways.

It's been a while since my last Pagan themed post and there's a good reason for that...... kind of.

Life has been pretty hectic ( mostly in the right ways ) and blogging about most things hasn't really been possible. During this time my faith doesn't take a backseat but it becomes quite introspective, focussed on myself and those close to me. In the last few weeks I have taken the time to make more room in my new, slightly more mental rhythm of life, for my spirituality and my practices.

This has led to a number of significant discoveries:
I'm a lot more at peace with myself and the events around me.
I sleep better on a night.
And finally the biggie.....

And this is something I have always known but had kind of forgotten......

When you listen the universe speaks.

It's true, as daft it may sound to some of you reading this, if you learn to listen and observe whilst going about your day to day lives the universe, the fates and the Gods and Goddess's of this place will communicate with you.

Try it :)

May blessed you be.

R.T.F.O.
\m/

Depression: the lurker in the shadows.

I write this whilst off sick from work (thanks to a respritory infection exploiting the damage done years ago by pluerisy) and emerging from a very dark place.

I find that, at times like this, this is when depression steps forward from the shadows where it lurks and gets you at your weakest.
And boy has it had me.
By the start of this weekend my self esteem had evaporated, my outlook on the world was beyond grim, positivity could not be found and I felt a total failure.
That's right, a failure. How ridiculous, in hindsight, is it to feel a failure for something you have absolutely no control over!
But that is how I felt.
I'm lucky though.
I have a wonderful wife, great sons, a supportive family, fab friends, a supportive employer and the tools that the NHS have given me to help get through it.
Make no mistake, without my wife I'd still be in a very, very dark place.
I'm eternally thankful for her love and support and it makes me feel for those without their own pillar of support and love.
So how about now?
Well I'm still unwell, but on the mend, and I'm still in a grim place, but I'm heading out towards the light once more.

There is always hope, the dawn always follows even the darkest of nights and things do get better. :)